Wedding Ideas and Observations, Various Hints & Tips  

Originally from England with an Australian twist, I've shot loads of weddings in upstate New York and across New England. Think I've seen just about everything. You'll likely have lots of suggestions from family and friends, but remember it's okay to be unique and different. Make it your wedding, do whatever makes you happy.

In pretty much random order, I've listed a hodge podge of mostly practical wedding advice. Hopefully, one or two of these may help you enjoy your one day of perfect just a little more.

• Whatever you do, don't gamble and settle for average and ordinary as you'll regret it. Hire wedding professionals with the expertise and experience to surpass expectations. Your wedding will be expensive so demand excellence.
• The best plan of attack is to contact a variety of professionals and find the service and style that best meets you needs and budget. Then, let go, relax and leave everything in their capable hands so you get to actually enjoy your wedding. Proper planning is huge, but don't micro-manage.
• Trying to control every little detail on your wedding day may seem like a good idea, but can easily end up having the opposite effect. If you want to have an unforgettable day, be flexible and let your family and friends help. Delegate!
• Make-up and hair can take longer than expected and are reasons brides are often late getting ready. A good idea is to start appointments at least 30+ minutes earlier than you think you need to. Make sure you get a time from your hair person when he/she will have you done. Same with make-up. Oh, and never go last behind all the bridesmaids as that will guarantee you end up late.
• If possible, apply lipstick after you get dressed as it's easy to accidentally get lipstick on your dress layers and fabric when adjusting and fluffing. Keep a towel handy. A bottle of champagne too!
• It's great fun to have some of your favorite tunes playing when you're getting ready or in the wedding cars before and after the ceremony. It may help calm nerves a little too.
• Think about comfort over style for your wedding shoes. Don't spend the most important day of your life in agony because you want to impress. Your shoes are mostly hidden from view anyway and it's hard to smile (and dance) when your feet are killing you. And rental shoes for the groom can be miserably uncomfortable so not a bad idea to have a back up pair of his own dress shoes handy at the reception just in case.
• Your dress is going to get dirty especially after your ceremony. This happens to all brides and virtually no one will notice so don't panic. Accept this as part and parcel of a fun and happy wedding and go with the flow.
• Too many brides worry about the weather. If it's wet so what. You're going to be inside most of the day anyway and pictures of the bride and groom under a brolley can be fun. Okay, maybe that's stretching it a bit, lets hope it doesn't rain on your wedding day!
• You may wish to let your dressmaker know your wedding is a week earlier than it actually is, especially around prom season. This will avoid last-minute panic and frustration with your dress not being ready on time.
• The lucky sixpence (or penny) in the shoe for good luck and good fortune dates from the Victorian era, but many brides like this tradition. For comfort, rather than taping or placing it in your shoe, keep the coin with you in your bridal bag. It's also more secure this way.
• Mentioning your bridal bag, consider including headache tablets, perfume, tissues, lipstick, lip gloss, mints, safety pins, a nail file, sanitary items, deodorant, etc.  Be prepared.
• Some limousine companies over book and end up rushing couples after the ceremony when you really need the time. Plan your booking time carefully so you don't have the car(s) arriving 30 minutes earlier than necessary.
• A few guests always arrive late for ceremonies, and brides don't like getting out of the car with stragglers still heading into church. My suggestion is consider listing your start time 15 minutes earlier on the invitation. This way, you may get to walk down the isle almost on time. And you gain time afterwards which means you get to your cocktail hour sooner.
• If you're late you're late, but some priests and reverends and others can be very particular, especially if there's another ceremony (or confessionals) following your wedding.
• Don't expect too much from young children in your bridal party even if they are usually well-behaved. Kids will be kids. They get very excited (or have a melt down) and can suffer from pre-wedding nerves too. Accept this may happen especially when it comes to the precessional. Keep in mind, whatever they do will likely be pretty entertaining.
• Let friends and relatives know before your wedding it's okay for them to step outside during your ceremony if their baby is crying. Guests like to hear your vows not screaming children.
• Make sure you designate a person to pin boutonnieres on the blokes at church as men being men are usually in no rush to wear flowers.
• Consider not having boutonnieres, a pocket hanky looks very elegant with tuxes or suits.
• Many bridesmaids (and bride's too) race down the isle and end up almost on top of each other before they reach the altar. Leave plenty of space inbetween.
• If your dress isn't too tight, take a deep breath, enjoy the moment and smile. No gloomy glum looks, it's a wedding not a funeral.
• Attention brides! You are queen for a day so smile, keep your flowers low, time your isle walk to the music and take it all in. These are your memories. Don't rush.
• Remind dad (or whomever's walking you down) not to pull your veil off when they bear-hug you as they give you away.
• Don't be strangers at the altar. Many couples look as if they've never seen each other before and don't even look at each other. Yes, you're going to be anxious, nervous, excited, major league butterflies going on etc., but hold hands, talk, be together as best friends should be. This is the person you're marrying.
• Most of all, make sure you look at each other during your rings and vows. You are not marrying the officiant or priest!
• More than 50% of couples skip a formal receiving line after their ceremony. The advantages are you get to cocktail hour much sooner and your guests aren't waiting in line for 20+ minutes. When it's hot and humid this can be plain miserable for everyone and, believe it or not, only having parents in the line doesn't move guests through any quicker. They (the parents) still tell life stories.
• Let your priest or officiant know you don't want your wedding certificate folded. You may wish to frame it.
• Bubbles after your ceremony are great fun and rarely stain dresses like confetti and petals can when wet. Mind you, few churches will allow things to be thrown anyway. If they do, whatever you do, don't throw rice. You'll regret it. Think not just of hungry birds it apparently harms, but your hair, your veil, your dress will never be the same as you'll have rice everywhere.
• Instead of a formal receiving line after the ceremony, many couples (and parents) will visit with guests during dinner. It's more relaxed and you get to chat with friends and family you want to chat more with.
• On the biggest day of your life the last thing you want is ordinary. You don't want ordinary flowers. You don't want an ordinary cake. And, you definitely don't want to gamble with an ordinary DJ or photographer.
• There are many amateur wedding DJ's and photographers who lack the talent to get results. If you're okay with ordinary, you'll save money, but regret it afterwards.
• Some couples like to see each other and shoot all formal pictures prior to their actual ceremony. The advantages being they're more relaxed and have no delays for pictures after they walk back down the isle as husband and wife. However, the odds of everyone being ready pre-ceremony for all the family pictures is the wild card. Always a gamble.
• When hiring videographers, choose wisely. Most couples don't like bright video lights that irritate guests and ruin the soft, low-light ambiance you have in your ballroom. Like with pictures, low-key and unobtrusive is the best filming style. These days, most digital video cameras are amazing and don't require lots of additional lighting.
• Make sure, too, your videographer is creative and tells your wedding day story documentary-style. Far too many videos are dull, boring, predictable. The fact is, you'll rarely watch boring videos twice. You'll also be embarrassed to show them to friends and family. An avid editor is critical if you want quality and class.
• Your wedding day goes by so fast and you should be together with friends and family not missing-in-action overly-posing pictures. You want to enjoy your cocktail hour. It's your first chance to really relax. Your photographer should mostly be unobtrusive and low-key. Lots of real and natural candid shots are the best way to tell your wedding day story.
• Find a photographer you will be comfortable around and one who encourages fun. This way you'll relax and enjoy everything much more.
• Make sure your paperwork and contracts specify exactly who your DJ and photographer will be. Some companies are crafty and known to send along someone other than the person you expected. Keep a listing of all payments made.
• Have an at-a-glance emergency phone and e-mail contact listing for all wedding services you hire. Keep a copy handy in your pocket book and car.
• It's best for younger flower girls and ring bearers to sit with parents during dinner. You don't want to become baby-sitters at the head table.
• Many wedding couples prefer adult-only ceremonies and receptions. Unless they are teenagers, young children can be a distraction with their running around, rolling across the dance floor, and will likely enjoy games and pizza more. Parents will then get to enjoy a rare night out together.
• With reception seating avoid having older guests too close to the DJ or band. Younger guests will likely be okay with louder music so put them by the speakers.
• This is almost a repeat, but worth repeating. Cutting corners with your entertainment budget is a huge mistake. To put in perspective, it's amazing the amount some couples spend on flowers that will be dead in days and have little lasting impact compared to the investment they make in their DJ or band. Like you, your guests attend many weddings and know when they've had a great time. The quality of your entertainment will largely determine how much fun you and your guests have.
• With rare exceptions, a friend or relative serving as your DJ can spell disaster. Don't do it! You want your reception to be unforgettable not boring and dull. Hire a professional with experience and expertise will make a huge difference.
• A DJ with a spectacular light and laser show and a bright neon sign with their name plastered everywhere is not critical for a great reception. It's their personality, style and professionalism that counts.
• Flowers are lovely but can be very expensive. Sometimes less really is more. Many churches and ballrooms need little decoration.
• Many mothers and grandmothers prefer wrist corsages or small hand held bouquets instead of pin-on flowers that can be rather awkward to wear especially on thin dresses.
• Candles often work much better than flowers as table centerpieces. They provide great ambient lighting, warm up faces, and allow people to see each other easier.
• Instead of traditional table numbers, use themes. Honeymoon destinations (London, Sydney, Paris, Rome, Baton Rouge et cetera), favorite colors, types of flowers, cheeses. Anything goes. Be different.
• Save dollars and get candles from stores like Michael's, AC Moore, Target, etc. Two or three large candles (perhaps on a mirror plate) look very elegant. You can even sprinkle rose petals to add a splash of color
• You'll be amazed how many brides use Central Market florists at various Price Choppers. The value, service and selection is tops. Then, with your savings, you can upgrade your photo coverage lol.
• It's your wedding cake so if you don't like the typical chocolate or vanilla selections be creative. Ice cream, carrot cake, marzipan, even banana pudding can make delicious alternatives. Get something you like.
• If your caterers are flexible, avoid forking out for a huge cake many guests never end up eating anyway. Approximately 60% serving slices relative to your guest count will be more than adequate especially if left on a dessert table for everyone to help themselves.
• More than 50% of couples avoid the garter and bouquet routine. Options include just throwing the bouquet, giving it to a mother or grandmother, an anniversary dance presentation to the oldest married couple, or just plain nothing. Full stop. Remember it's your wedding so be unique. Sometimes the fewer interruptions post-dinner the more dancing fun everyone will have.
• If you do wear a garter, test it before your wedding day as they tend to fall down. Make sure it is tight and doesn't create a bulge through your dress. You can always keep it in your bridal bag and put it on later at your reception.
• Your reception will be over before you know it so dance the night away every chance you get. After all, it's the biggest party of your life.
• Most of all, the absolute best way to make sure everyone enjoys your wedding is for you to enjoy it yourself. After all the planning and preparation, that's all that matters. Have fun.

Please ring (518) 642-2020 or e-mail anytime with questions. Most days, I'm usually very friendly and helpful and in my office afternoons and evenings. Don't even worry if I'm not your photographer as I'd be delighted to help with suggestions. I love my job.

For even more help, my Friends features a listing of photographers, videographers, bands, DJ's, hotels, ballrooms, inns, florists, cake bakers, and others worth checking out.